— Sigmund Freud (via perfect)
Marina and the Diamonds- Lies
no one will ever know how relevant this is to my life right now.
do you ever feel like you’re just sort of
like all your friends go out and do things and get into relationships and like people that like them back and have fun and do stupid things with their best friends and instead of doing all that you’re just sort of this mildly entertaining thing that people take an interest in once in a while but they wouldn’t really care if it was gone
like you just sort of exist but you don’t really mean anything
— Juliet Marillier (via bokura)
We’ve all heard this excuse. Hell, I’ve given it myself. This along with “I didn’t know” eventually leads to a comment I saw days ago here on Tumblr. Someone said “It’s not racist because they didn’t intentionally try to hurt you.” A week before, I saw “If someone is intentionally trying to be mean because of someone’s race, that is racist. He wasn’t trying to be mean so it wasn’t racist.” Just two days before that I saw “She didn’t mean it that way. She isn’t racist. She isn’t sitting around saying racist things about Black people. Just because she said that one time doesn’t make her a racist. It’s not like she’s going out and lynching people.”
I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to and it’s not physical so it’s not racist are all fallacies. Racist is racist is racist. Intent has no place in meaning. Intent has no place in feeling. Intent has no place in justification. The single place that intent is warranted is in your reprieve. Not intending to hurt someone doesn’t make them less hurt. Your intentions however, may…MAY help people to move forward and not hold a grudge. BUT-you are neither entitled or guaranteed this kindness.
This entire falsehood is interesting to me because it only seems to hold barring toward those in a minority position. Be it race, religion, gender, orientation, etc. It also only holds weight in matters of emotion. Never the physical. Think about it. If anyone, ANYONE said any of the following to you, would you be so easily expected to “Get over it?”
I didn’t mean to hit you with my car so I didn’t really hit you.
I didn’t intentionally give you an STI. It’s not like I am sitting around plotting to give people STI’s. Therefore, I didn’t actually give you one.
I didn’t shoot your child on purpose. Just get over it already.
He wasn’t trying to burn your house down. He was just setting off fireworks and it happened. Why don’t you calm down and leave him alone. He didn’t do anything to you. Stop taking everything so personally.
Would you say these things? Have you said these things? If you’ve ever said any of the things in the first paragraph then your answer is yes, as is mine.You would and have. Why is it wrong to tell someone they should “Get over” shooting your child but it is perfectly justifiable to say “Get over” the racist shit that has come out of your mouth?
I’m sorry I go to you when I’m upset. I’m sorry I tell you everything. I’m sorry I like you. I’m sorry I’m not the happiest person you know. I’m sorry I piss you off with my feelings. I’m sorry I annoy you when I talk to you. I’m sorry I’m not what you want in a friend. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.